AN INTRODUCTION TO NLP:

Some Basic Concepts in Neuro-Linguistic Programming

by Tad James, M.S., Ph.D., Certified NLP Master Trainer

Copyright © 1985, 1999

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is about noticing patterns. So, in NLP, we

are not so much interested in content as in process. Often this is an interesting

transition for us to make. The first step is to pay attention to the process of your

interaction with others -- listen to the form, watch the form, feel the form, and not

get involved in the content.

THE MODALITIES

Of course, the next question then, is how specifically do you "listen to the form,

watch the form, feel the form, and not get involved in the content?" The

modalities are one way of categorizing exactly what a person does inside their

head as they think. They are a way or a model for what a person does in their

head as they make up an Internal Representation (I/R). In the process of creating

NLP, Bandler and Grinder discovered that by looking at someone's eyes, you

could tell HOW they think. Not what they think, but HOW they think. You can tell

what they're doing inside. 

(This is how they look when you're facing them.)

Based on observations by Bandler and Grinder, when people look up, they're

visualizing. When they look horizontally to the left and right, they're either

remembering or constructing sounds. When they look downward and to our left,

they're accessing their feelings. And when they look downward and to our right,

they're talking to themselves (Auditory Digital). The chard above is for a "normal"

right handed person. Many left-handed people and some ambidextrous people

will have eye movements that are reversed.

Vr Visual Remembered

(Visual Recall) - Seeing images from the memory, recalling things you're have

seen before. QUESTION: "What color was the room you grew up in?" "What

color is your bedroom now?" "What does your coat look like?"

Vc Visual Constructed

(Visual Created) - Images of things that you have never seen before. When you

are making it up in their head, you are using Visual Constructed.

QUESTION: "What would your room at home look like if it were blue?" "What

would your dog look like if it had the head of an elephant?"

(In addition, some people access visually by defocusing their e yes. When this

happens, the eyes will usually stay in the center.)

Ar Auditory Remembered

(Auditory Recall) - Is when you remember sounds or voices that you've heard

before or things that you've said to yourself before. When you ask someone,

"What was the very last thing I said, they typically look in that direction.

QUESTION: "Can you remember the sound of your mother's voice?"

Ac Auditory Constructed

(Auditory Created) - Is making up sounds that you've not heard before. For

example

QUESTION: "What would I sound like if I had Donald Duck's voice?" "What

would Swan Lake sound like if it were played on bagpipes?"

K Kinesthetic

(Feelings, Sense of Touch) - You generally look in this direction when you're

accessing your feelings

QUESTION: "What does it feel like to touch that rug?"

Ad Auditory Digital

(Talking to Yourself) - This is where your eyes move when you're having internal

dialogue.

QUESTION: "Can you recite the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Typically, every time we access our brain, we move our eyes in that particular

direction which facilitates our using that part of our neurology. The mind and

body are absolutely interconnected, so each time we access our Visual Memory,

for example, we move our eyes upward and to our left. (If you're watching

someone access Visual Memory, you will see them move their eyes upward and

to your right.)

Based on our model of communication, and how we make an internal

representation, you'll remember that people rely on their 5 senses to make I/R's

about the world around them. Internally, we also generally come to depend on

one representational system or modality more than another as we access

information, and also use that information to create I/R's. So, some people are

using their Visual representational system more, some people use their Auditory

representational system more, and some people use their Kinesthetic more than

the others.

Usually an individual will prefer to use a certain modality or will use primarily a

certain modality as their primary representational system. Let's go through, the

three major modes of operation so you can notice what mode people are

operating in, and begin to identify them. You can then begin to match the modes

by using the predicates and physiology that match their representational system.

Visual

Typically, people who are in a visual mode stand, or sit, with their heads and/or

bodies erect with their eyes up, and will be breathing from the top of their lungs.

They often sit forward in the chair or on the edge of the chair. They tend to be

more organized, neat, well-groomed and orderly. More deliberate. More

appearance oriented, and sometimes quieter. Good spellers. Memorize by

seeing pictures, and are less distracted by noise. Often have trouble

remembering verbal instructions, and are bored by long verbal explanations

because their minds tend to wander. They would rather read than be read to. A

visual person will be interested in how someone looks at them, and will respond

to being taken places, and being bought things. They will tend to use words like:

See ya later, I want to look at it, Focus on it, Watch it, Be clear, Foggy, Picture

that, Notice, Appears.

Auditory

Someone who is auditory will move their eyes sideways and also down to the

right. They breathe from the middle of the chest. They typically talk to

themselves, and are easily distracted by noise. They often move their lips when

they say words. They can repeat things back to you easily. They may find math

and writing more difficult and spoken language easier. They like music and learn

by listening. They memorize by steps, procedures, and sequence. An auditory

person is often interested in being told how they're doing, and responds to a

certain set of words or tone of voice. They tend to use words and phrases like:

Listen, Talk to, Said, Speak, Hear, and Sounds like, "Good to talk to you."

Kinesthetic

They will typically be breathing from the bottom of their lungs, so you'll see their

stomach go in and out as they breathe. Their posture is often more slumped

over, and they often move and talk verrrry slooowly. They will typically access

their feelings and emotions to "get a feel" for what they're doing. They respond to

physical rewards, and touching. They also stand close to people and touch them.

They are often physically oriented people (athletes). They may move a lot, and

they memorize by doing, or walking through something. They use words like:

Feelings, Get in touch, Hold, Grasp, and Handle.

Those are the characteristics of the three major modes of operation. And so, the

question is now, how do you use them to communicate with people? How do you

communicate with someone who is primarily in one of those modes? This brings

us to the subject of rapport.

RAPPORT

Think of it! If there's anything that you want to get, or if there's anything you need,

then you will probably need someone's help in getting it. This is true whether

you're a salesperson, a teacher or even a carpenter. No matter what you do, the

ability to develop and maintain rapport with the large numbers of people of

varying backgrounds will allow you to get what you want. Having rapport with

someone will allow you to do anything. So, rapport is probably the most important

skill on the planet.

The basis of rapport is that when people are like each other, they like each other.

When people are not like each other, they don't like each other. When you like

someone, you are willing to assist them in having whatever they want.

Remember that 38% of all communication is tone of voice, and 55% is

physiology. So, most communication is outside of our conscious awareness. A

tremendous opportunity exists for communication outside of normal channels,

and that's what rapport is all about.

For the sake of contrast please remember a time when you were accessing your

feelings, in a feeling state, or calm and quiet. Was there a time when you were in

this state, and perhaps you can recall being with another person who was in an

excited (visual) mode. Do you remember the feelings in your body when that

happened?

Or can you remember being in a really excited (Visual) mode, and talking to

someone in a real slow (Kinesthetic) state. Remember how it drove you crazy

waiting for the other person to catch up?

Please, remember that neither of these modes of operation is wrong, they're just

how people operate. To be a master communicator, you will also need to keep in

mind that you will communicate best with people, when you employ their primary

modality.

Too often, however, communication takes place in a system where people are

unconsciously mismatching modalities. So the first major element of rapport is to

match the modality the person is in.

If you're meeting with someone, for example, who is in high visual, and you're not

quite there, sit up in your chair, breathe from the top of your lungs, and be

excited. Or at least act in a way that matches what they're doing. On the other

hand, if you're meeting with someone who is auditory, you want to slow down a

bit, modulate your voice more, and "listen, really listen." If you're meeting with

someone who is kinesthetic, slow waaay dooown. And talk to them about

feelings. Actually change your voice tone so that it matches theirs, and really "get

a sense of it."

On the next two pages are lists of predicates, and predicate phrases. Look at

these now, and notice the words and phrases that people use in each major

representational system. In each major representational system, people are

using different words, different phrases that actually reveal what's going on inside

their heads.

The second element of rapport is physical mirroring of the individual's

physiology. Actually physically copying their posture, facial expressions, hand

gestures and movements, and their eye blinking will cause their body to say

unconsciously to their mind, "Hey, (s)he's like me!" It's undeniable to the nervous

system.

The third element is to match their voice: The tone, tempo, timbre (quality of

the voice), and the volume. You can also match their key words. Perhaps they

often say, "Actually." You can use it in a sentence several times. Say it back to

them.

The fourth element is to match their breathing. You can actually pace

someone's breathing by breathing at exactly the same time as they do (matching

the in and out breath). By matching their breathing, by pacing their breathing, you

can then begin to lead them out of the representational system they're in, into

another one.

The fifth element is to match the size of the pieces of information (chunk size

or level of abstraction) they deal with. If someone usually deals in the big picture,

they will probably be bored with the details. On the other hand someone who is

into details will find that there's not enough information to deal with, if you only

give them the big picture. So make sure that you are matching the content

chunks that the person deals with.

The sixth element is to match their common experiences. This is what's

usually called rapport. When people first meet, often their early relationship is

about matching common experiences, common interests, background, beliefs

and values, their ideologies and common associations.

Those are the critical elements of rapport. Next, how do I establish rapport, and

then how do I know when I'm in rapport?

To establish rapport, the process is to match and mirror completely, what the

other person is doing. When I'm training people in rapport skills they often ask,

"Well how can I do that, they'll think I'm making fun of them." You do need to be

subtle when doing matching and mirroring, but typically most people are in a

trance when talking anyway. They're so caught up in what they're going to say

next that they are rarely fully aware of what you're doing. And if they do, you can

have a good laugh about it.

Calibration is one way of testing whether you're in rapport with someone.

Simply, that means you need to develop your sensory acuity to such an extent

that you can begin to see peoples reactions to your communication. Watch their

eyes, the muscles around the eyes, the lower lip, the color of the face and hands,

the breathing. These are all indicators of rapport.

In addition there are some indicators that happen in your own body that you can

notice. As you begin to go into rapport, there's a certain, specific physiological

feeling that begins to occur in the body. It happens in the area of the legs, and

chest, and could almost be described as a feeling of nervousness or anticipation.

The next thing that happens is that you can feel the color in your own face begin

to change. It's a feeling of warmth in the face that rises up from the neck. As you

notice this, you can also notice, within about one minute, the color in the other

person's face increases. The change in color usually happens one minute after

you notice the internal feelings. Usually within another minute or so, the person

you're talking to will say something like, "...and (your name), my good friend

here..." or "I feel like I've known you for years..." They may even use the word

"rapport" or "trust" to describe what they're experiencing.

Even if you don't have an experience of these indicators of rapport, there's

another way that you can tell. This process is pacing and leading the other

person. After you've matched and mirrored a person for say, 5 or 10-minutes,

you can then begin to lead them to lead their behavior. Successful leading is

another way you can tell if you're in rapport with someone.

Establishing rapport is also important in the case of interpersonal relationships,

say with a member of the opposite sex. What you'd want to do first of all is to

establish rapport with them. Get into rapport. Match and mirror them so that they

begin to trust you, feel good about you, and have good internal representations

about who you are. You may recall times that you've done the opposite, I

certainly have. And I'm sure that the other person thought that I was a totally

inept person (at best). At worst, there's no trust. Rapport is an important process

in both business and in interpersonal relationships.

The following exercises are to assist you in developing your ability to gain rapport

with other people:

1. Establish rapport with as many people as you can in the coming week. For

example, practice when you go into a restaurant, establish rapport with the

maitre d', and with your waiter or waitress.

2. Match and mirror someone near you in a restaurant, or wherever you are.

Notice if you're able to establish rapport.

3. When you're going up to a counter to purchase something, practice

establishing "instant" rapport (it's possible).

4. Watch people's physiology for a whole week. For example on Monday,

watch color; Tuesday, watch lower lips, etc.

To master the skill of rapport, it's important to learn the ability to gain instant

rapport with anyone. I was staying in Anchorage, Alaska once in the summer,

and a series of events had put me in a situation where I needed to have a hotel

room, and I had no prior reservation. I called several major "name brand" hotels

in the phone book, and found them all booked. So when panic set in, I began to

call blindly, and found a hotel that had space. When I got to the hotel, I

discovered that it wasn't the kind of hotel that I really would stay in. In fact, I

began to feel that staying there was NOT an exercise of my personal power. I

decided that I needed a hotel room, and I needed it now!

So, I went back to a "brand name" hotel that I had already called and was told

there was no room, that they were 150% booked. I went up to the front desk, and

matched and mirrored the girl behind the font desk. As we started our

conversation, I talked as I imagined she would talk. Almost immediately, I saw

her facial color change. At that point, I knew I had established rapport. She said,

"I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you a room." She spend a half-hour

"finding" me a room. She talked to the manager twice, and I had my room. Not

only did I establish rapport, but two days later when a friend came in to pick me

up at the hotel, she spent several minutes telling him what a wonderful person I

was. And I had only talked to her for ten minutes!

If you practice these skills you will develop the ability to go into instant rapport

with ANYBODY. I had just finished doing a training on rapport, and I was going to

lunch with one of my students. We were going to a restaurant for lunch and

roughly one 1/2 -hour before an afternoon appointment. When we got to the

restaurant, the girl behind the desk said, with her head looking down at the

schedule, "It'll be at least 20 minutes." And I said to myself, "Oops, it's time for

rapport!" As I looked to my friend, I saw him matching and mirroring her, and

decided to see what happened. When she looked up at him, she went into instant

rapport„her facial color instantly changed, and she smiled and said, "Do you mind

a table in nonsmoking?" We said, "No." And she had us taken to our seats

immediately!

Powerful stuff!

Here's one more exercise! This one involves two people. Person "A" begins to

tell person "B" about a work experience or a personal experience. Person B

matches and mirrors person A. Totally establish rapport. Both A and B notice

matching and mismatching of eye cues, predicates, and other elements of

rapport. Notice also the feelings of comfort and discomfort as they occur. Notice

what's going on internally in your body as well as externally as you go through

the exercise. Notice the feelings as you go into rapport. After about 3-5 minutes,

you should notice the physiological feelings of rapport. Notice them. Also look

then for the outward signs of rapport.

ACCESSING POSITIVE STATES

Based on the information so far, we are ready now, to discover how to put people

into state. Actually, if you did the rapport exercise, you already know how to put

people into state. The process of going into rapport with someone does indeed

put them into. In fact, if you're pacing and leading the person, just your going into

a state will put them into that state. (Remember, a state is made up of an I/R. and

a physiology.)

So the first step in putting people into state is to establish rapport. The second

step is to put yourself into the state you want to establish in them.

The next step is to say, "Can you remember a time when you were?.. (the state

you want them to access)." For example, "Can you remember a time when you

made a decision easily and quickly, when you were totally decisive?.. (for

decisiveness)." Or, "can you recall a time when you purchased something that

you were very happy with?.. (for buying state)."

What will happen is that people will literally go inside and do a search of their

memory to discover that particular time. If you have them do enough of that (such

as happy buying state), they will connect (or link) you to that state.

The question may come up, what if they're resistant, or ask you, "Why are you

asking me this stuff?" I had that happen once when I was signing up a new client.

And I was asking him to recall all sorts of outrageous stuff. He said, "I can't

believe I'm sitting here answering all your crazy questions!" I said, "I know! I can't

believe it either! Why are you doing that?" He answered, "You know, I just feel

like I'm very close to you." Bandler and Grinder say, "There are no resistant

patients, only resistant therapists." So before you ask outrageous questions,

establish rapport. Then you can do anything, and they'll forgive you.

One more thing you can do in advance is to set the frame about what you're

going to do. Here are some nice frames to put around the process of putting

someone into state:

"As we sit here talking about your b usiness, I'm beginning to wonder if it would

be appropriate to ask you now, to recall a time..."

"That reminds me, can you remember a time when you were totally decisive,

now..."

"You know, I was wondering, can you recall a time when you made a business

decision that was a big win for you, and made you lots of money?"

"And as I ask you so many questions, you may wonder what it would be like to be

a client, and as you wonder, if you could just imagine being a client now, you'd

probably find that it would be easier to make the right decision..."

"Your telling me about your business reminds me of a time when I (pause), well

gee, I wonder if you can recall a time when you totally were satisfied with a

purchase you just made."

And they'll oblige you by going right into that state.

Remember that a state is made up of an internal representation and a

physiology. So, your asking them to make an internal representation of a time

when they were (for example) satisfied with something puts them right back into

that state. And when you have access to a state, what you want to do then is to

anchor it.

ANCHORING

So, when you have access to a state, the next step is to anchor it. And remember

that a spontaneous state is usually more powerful than one that is induced.

When ever you find a state that you can use (whether it's in you or someone

else), you can anchor it.

What is an anchor? The concept of anchoring comes from Pavlov. You

remember Pavlov's dogs? What Pavlov did with his dogs, was that he rang a bell,

and showed the dogs a steak. Rang the bell and showed them a steak. Then he

rang the bell, and the dogs salivated just as if they'd just seen a steak. Pavlov

deduced his theory of stimulus -response from this experiment. The bell was

actually an anchor. What he had done is to set up an anchor for the dogs.

An anchor occurs any time a person is in an intense state, and at the peak of that

intense state or that experience a specific stimulus is consistently applied, the

state and the specific stimulus become linked neurologically so that the state can

be continually produced by setting off the stimulus.

There are four steps in anchoring:

1. The first step is to put the person in state. You can use a spontaneous

state, or an induced state ("Can you remember a time..."). It's important

that the state be fully associated. Which means that the person is in their

body, looking through their own eyes (as opposed to looking at their body

from outside it). It's also important that the state be intense and congruent.

Here is some specific language to get the person in an intense and

congruent state. "Can you recall a time when you were totally X'd? Can

you remember a specific time? As you go back to that time, can you step

into your body and see what you saw through your own eyes, hear what

you heard, and feel the feelings that you felt when you were totally X'd?"

People go into states at different rates, so it's important that you calibrate

the state, or you can ask them to tell you when they are fully into the state,

at the peak of the experience. You can have them nod, move their head,

or finger, or foot or whatever.

2. The second step, when they're at the peak is to provide a specific

stimulus. Provide a specific stimulus and apply it consistently. When they

are at the peak of that experience, the anchor should actually be ending:

APPLICATION OF AN ANCHOR:

Notice that as the state begins to peak, the anchor should be applied. It

should start slightly before, and end right at the peak or slightly before. An

anchor should be applied for from 5 to 15 seconds, so using a

physiological (kinesthetic) anchor you would hold the touch up to 15

seconds. What you may want to do, in order to get a very intense

(positive) state when you're working with someone, is to literally "stack"

anchors. So you can say,

a. "Can you recall a time when you were totally capable?"

b. "Can you recall a time when you were totally loved?"

c. "Can you recall a time when you were totally powerful?"

d. "Can you recall a time when you laughed hysterically?"

When you have access to that state, anchor it. Anchor all the states by

touching the person in the same place in exactly the same way.

3. The next step is to change the person's state. Have them get out of the

state they were in. Perhaps have them walk around. At least have them

take a deep breath.

4. Set off the anchor by applying it in exactly the same way, and discover if

they go back into state.

There are four keys to successful anchoring:

1. The first is the intensity of the response, or the congruity of the state. In

anchoring, we're looking for a fully associated intense state. You may ask,

"Are you seeing yourself or are you in your own body?" We want them to

be in their own body (associated).

2. The second element is the timing of the anchor. The anchor should be

applied just before the peak. If you hold it too long, then you may find that

the person has gone beyond the first experience into a second, into

another state, and the two states may be linked.

3. The stimulus should also be unique. The uniqueness of the stimulus is

important because if you set up an anchor on an area of the body

(assuming a kinesthetic anchor) that is touched a lot, such as a

handshake, then the anchor will become weakened with time (diluted)

because it will be set off by other people. So you will want to provide an

anchor that is in a unique area of the body. Often an NLP professional will

use an ear to set up an anchor or ask you to put a series of positive

anchors in a fist.

How long an anchor lasts depends specifically upon how unique the

location is. If it's not an intense state that you're anchoring, or if you

haven't stacked it, then the anchor will wear off or dilute itself more

quickly. If the location is not unique it can be fired off so many times that it

won't work again, because it won't be linked to the specific state.

4. The last key is the replication of the stimulus. The way that you apply the

anchor in setting it and in firing it off to test, need to be exactly the same

every time. So if you're snapping your fingers or giving them a certain

look, you need to do it the same way every time. That anchor needs to be

fed back to the person in exactly the same way it was set.

COLLAPSING ANCHORS

All human change (All? Yes, all.) is nothing more than an integration of resources

or a collapsing of realities, one into the other. The particular process of collapsing

anchors involves taking a negative state, and integrating or collapsing it into a

positive state. Doing this gives the person we're dealing with more neurological

choice. One of the major premises of NLP is to increase the choices a person

has.

So, if we find for example that every time a certain salesperson goes out to make

a sale that they become negative. It may be because they're recalling all the

times they've failed. If the two are linked, we can collapse the association of

sales and failure, with a winning attitude, and give the salesperson the choice of

feeling good about selling, too. The process of collapsing anchors will free the

salesperson from the necessity of having to access the negative state every time

they go out and make a sales call.

The process of collapsing anchors is extremely powerful, one of the more

powerful process in NLP, and this next technique for collapsing anchors is one of

the most powerful collapsing anchors that I've seen, and it's also easy to use.

1. Ask the person to recall a series of positive experiences, and anchor each

one. Stack the anchors. For example, when they couldn't lose, when they

felt powerful, when they knew they could have it all, when they knew they

could have whatever they wanted.

2. Have them put all the experiences, one at a time, into their right hand,

while you are firing off the original anchor that you have set, with each

experience.

3. Have them look at the right hand, and describe what those experiences

look like. What do they say, or what do they sound like? What do they feel

like? What is the shape, color, size, sound, smell. Make a fist, now, and

hold on to all those positive experiences.

4. Now have them put the negative experience into the left hand. (if the

negative experience is particularly strong, you can have the person put the

negative experience into the left hand quickly without looking at it. If it's not

very strong, have them describe it as they did with the positive.) You don't

have to set an anchor for the negative experience other than the hand.

5. Go back to the right hand. Have them notice those experiences again. Ask

them again about some of the SubModalities, the smell, the sound, the

color, the brightness, and shape.

6. Now, holding the right hand over the left hand, have them pour the

positive experiences from the right hand, including the feelings and the

sounds, into the left hand. Have them make a "sshhhh" (or any) noise as

they do it. And have them continue pouring until the contents of both

hands are the same. When both hands look, sound, and feel the same,

then they can stop.

7. Next, have them clap their hands together once, and then rub them

together vigorously.

8. Finally, have them look again and make sure that both hands are the

same. If not, go back to #1.

The negative experience in the left hand and the positive experience in the right

hand will be linked in the neurology, so that the person will have more choice.

The person can feel negative about the negative experience or they can feel

positive about them. The negative will not have the hold over them that it had

before. It's a very powerful process, by the way, and one that you can use on

yourself or others to reduce the effect of negative experiences and to create new

neurological choices.

One important caution in this process is that the person doing NLP should be

sure that the positive anchors are stronger than the negative anchors. What

you're doing is diluting the negativity with the positivity, neurologically. So it's a

neurological dilution of the negative experience. However, if the negative

experience is stronger than the positive, then the positive experiences will be

diluted into the negative, which is not what you want. Typically, an NLP

professional will set a number of positive anchors before beginning this process,

so that the negative experiences will be weaker than the positive ones. In

addition, make sure that the person you're working with is dissociated from the

negative experiences. Don't allow them to access the negative states too long,

and make sure to get them out of the negative states.

Use your browser "back" button